Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
