how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dignity is for republicans.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
