The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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