How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize