Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
