And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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