Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
