Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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