Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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