he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
