Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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