Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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