3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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