It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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