Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Semen is not good for contacts.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
