she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
