Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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