so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
