i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize