How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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