Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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