he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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