ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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