It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize