two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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