I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
