and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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