It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
