We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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