Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize