this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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