I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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