the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
