With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
