I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
