whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
