just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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