walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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