Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
