glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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