This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
