I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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