idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
