is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
