Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
