I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
