I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize