I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
