If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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