she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
