When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
