Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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