Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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