we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
