I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
