ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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