There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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