Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
