I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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