will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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