Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
