i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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