do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
