Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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